Many times it's easy to see the negatives of autism. All of Brendon's struggles with the tiniest of tasks is debilitating for all us. But sometimes I can see the good. Some days I don't have to turn off all the lights, put on dark glasses, and squint really hard to see the positive. Sometimes, it's just there, staring right at me. I treasure those moments.
I love how Brendon simply thinks I am the ultimate, number one, queen of the universe. He never questions it. Mom is "It On A Stick." Period. He really doesn't see the need for other humans to exist, from what I can tell. Dad is cool. Sisters are okay. Mom is on a whole other level. He would prefer I be within ten feet of him at all times. As I move around the house, doing laundry, loading the dishwasher, etc..., he picks up his toys and moves with me to play close by. He never shows any displeasure that I only stay in one place about fifteen seconds. He picks his stuff up for the umpteenth time and makes himself comfortable once again, quickly engrossed in whatever he's playing. He falls asleep every night, with his little arms wrapped around my neck, snuggled up just as close as he can get. His trust is complete. I don't take it lightly. I have worked so hard for his love and his trust. These didn't come naturally for him, the way it does for "normal" kids. For the first year of his life, he didn't prefer me to anyone else. As long as his needs were met, he was happy.
I'm so thankful to have him in my life. It's hard. Sometimes it seems impossible. But clearly, we are a better family, individually and together by having him in our lives. I see each of us always put his needs above our own and in return receive so much joy in his smiles. Thankfully, God chose to send us this wonderful blessing.
